"Don't move. Just... just stay there for a moment. I want to remember you like this. I want to hold this moment in my heart forever."
Tashairah peered up at Landen, sitting upright in bed, gazing down at her with his heart laid fully bare in his eyes. She supposed she probably did look fetching at this particular moment-- raven waves of hair strewn upon on the pillows, coffee-coloured limbs intertwined with the white wolfskins adorning the bed-- but there was something in his expression that gave her pause. This was not the look of a man who considered her visits to Boeruine a delightful distraction from time to time. No, this had turned into something more, for him.
Fuck, she thought.
She'd glimpsed Lord Landen Tielen on one of her first visits to the Archduke's court. All powerful men and women drew hangers-on, snakes, weasels who spoke charming words, but would sink a dagger between each other's ribs if they thought it would garner them the slightest inkling of their patron's favour. Tashairah had known them all, seen them all, from Basarj to Rjurik to Brechtur, and they were all the same. They could be manipulated and outmaneuvered with a bare minimum of effort. But above that, they were
boring. Their schemes and plotting and endless jockeying for power and status bored her.
But those who seek to provide for others, not merely themselves... those rich enough in spirit that they seek to enrich others... aye, those are the interesting ones. Those are the worthwhile ones.
Landen was the second son of House Tielen, one of the most powerful houses in Boeruine. He'd joined the military and achieved some renown as a skilled commander. He'd appeared at the Archduke's court not to kiss any perfumed backsides, but to lobby the Archduke for legal protection for the commoners among his troops. He demanded his unit promote officers on the basis of merit, not noble birth, and the move had proven unpopular with some of the other nobles. Landen wanted the Archduke's guarantee that his talented commoners would be free from the reprisal of the jealous lordlings they advanced past. Oh, the sincerity in his words, tempered with the caution and canniness of a life spent at court. The calm, measured strength in his address to the court.
His looks didn't hurt either, obviously; he cut a fine figure in the Boeruinese colours, his hair sandy-golden, just beginning to silver at the temples, his beard well-kept, and the hilt of his greatsword riding effortlessly astride his broad shoulders.
Landen had watched her sing "The Lay of The Blue Baroness" at a fete for the Archduke's youngest cousin's birthday, and come to think of it, she should have known then and there. Tashairah knew all the ways a man can gaze upon a woman-- as a thing to be coveted, or adored, or possessed, cherished, worshiped, or used-- and she should have known where this would lead. But he had courted her with a gallantry so rare among these northern barbarians, even though she'd, ahem, indicated that such things were not necessary, in the name of expediency. Even the daughter of an emir had appetites that needed urgent slaking, at times.
And now here they were, in his well-appointed tent in a military encampment somewhere near the southern border, and he had to go and make this delightfully unconventional evening-- the bedclothes showed a third groove, where his second lieutenant, a strapping Brechtur axeman, had recently departed-- all serious.
And what will wound this fine man less? If I tell him, quick and clean, that our intentions no longer align? Or if I let him go on believing that they do?
She cupped his chiseled cheek with a bejeweled hand. "Landen," she said, gently, "why so somber?"
"We've been called away. We break camp tomorrow morning. We were marching for the battle at Stormpoint, but new orders came this evening. Some at the Capital fear Baroness Fulcairn's victory in Bayside has emboldened her, and she may turn her eyes to Portage next. Just a precaution, they said."
Tashairah tried not to smirk with glee at this. Landen's gaze was deadly serious, apprehensive even; she tried to don an appropriate visage to match.
"I've heard things about her, Tash, about the Wilders. Disturbing things. Everyone knows the Witch of Wilder's Gorge serves her, the one who can hurl fire. But they say the Baroness commanded the trees of Wilder's Gorge itself to kill Boeruine soldiers. They say she tore the limbs from their corpses with her bare hands and tossed them into the forest to appease its hungry spirits."
Tashairah couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Oh come now, darling, the Wilders are delightful. They breed the dearest puppies you've ever seen in your life. And Mara is a dear friend-- did you know she conjured me a flower last time I saw her? I adore Cathal; I was hoping to see him on my way south, in fact, but I hear he has since left. As for Baroness Cuinn, well, I'm fairly certain she doesn't care for me, but I doubt she's as bad as all that--"
"You
know them?"
Aye, she did indeed. She'd done her best to help them reach the Archduke, though in her heart she'd known that to be an ill-brokered match; the freedom-loving Wilders would love servitude to the Archduke no more than servitude to Avan. She truly had been hoping to pass through on her way south, but with Cathal gone and Cuinn alone in charge, she had a feeling she would be less than welcome, and Tashairah al-Muhtadim did not a tarry a moment longer than necessary in a place she was not wanted.
"Aye, I performed at the great tourney Cathal held to celebrate his ascension to the head of the House. They were fine hosts, and good folk."
"Truly? Even the Baroness? Tash, they say she is a killer, that she--"
She held up a hand; the Ariyan star-ruby upon it glittered in the lantern light. "Cuinn Fulcairn is a dangerous woman, of that I have no doubt. But I believe she is only dangerous in defense of herself or her own. I do not think her a wanton killer, nor one who takes pleasure in the kill. I am certain that if a foe draws her ire, it is because they provoked it. Perhaps even the Archduke best take note of that." He opened his mouth to defend his liege, and she continued unabated. "Regardless. If I didn't know better, I'd say the fearless Lord Tielen is speaking with dread of some minor noble from an unremarkable wooded armpit of the Empire! Why don't we instead turn our attentions to more pleasant matters." And she ran her hand down the taut muscles of his belly.
Landen caught her wrist, and she stopped cold. "Tashairah, I'm serious. I have an ill feeling about this. So... I have to ask you something." And his gaze was deadly earnest, and she knew what was coming next, and the urge to grab her katar and slash her way out of the tent's canvas wall was near-unbearable.
He pressed something heavy and cold into her palm-- it was his house's signet ring, adorned with the ram of House Tielen. "I... I don't know how this is done by the customs of your people. But... when I return from Taeghas... I would ask for your hand."
The look in Landen's grey eyes rent her heart. Love, fear, a hope that scarcely allowed itself to exist. And for a damnable, Avani-forsaken moment... Tashairah found herself
considering it. What
if she said yes? What
if she gave up her years of glorious, carefree gallivanting across the realms, going wherever and whenever it suit her? What if she committed herself not to adventure and song, but to a man, their life, their family? And what better man could there be? Landen would fill her days with laughter and her nights with passion; he would give her anything he craved, he would treat her as an equal in the running of his household. As a second son, the politics of Boeruine would surely only intrude into their lives as much as she allowed them. And somewhere in her heart, she felt... a great fatigue. It had been so long since she had called anywhere home, truly. Basarj was home no longer. Maybe... what if this man became her home? What if the life they made together became her home?
And to her shock, she who thought human nature no longer held any surprises for, she found herself lost in a reverie of this life, consumed by it, all laid out in glorious crystalline detail, as they say one's life flashes before one's eyes in the seconds before one's death. Dining across from him in their great hall, laughing over the political quibbles of the day. Their children's first steps. Grey hair and wrinkles. Hand in hand, together, through the long walk into the twilight of life.
But even as it swelled into glorious life in her mind's eye, so she felt the arcs of their two separate destinies, pulling them inexorably in two different directions. Gently, but firmly, she tucked the signet back into his hand.
"Landen. My darling. They say men on the eve of battle are known to make hasty promises they live to regret. Go to Portage. Do what must be done. Then return to Boeruine, and we will discuss this further, I promise. Alright?"
He said nothing, and for a moment his handsome face turned unreadable. "I'm sorry, Tash. I... I didn't mean to force the issue, nor to pressure you unduly with the timing of this. You're right, of course. We'll talk more when I return."
She could sense the mood had shifted precipitously.
Perhaps a different strategy should be employed now. She curled up against his back, her bare skin against his, and ran her fingertips through his hair. He leaned into her touch, relaxed a bit. She hummed a tune softly-- a Basarji lullaby-- and let the subtle sorceries of her voice infuse it. Soon his breathing came deep and regular.
I'm sorry, Landen, she thought, a pang of genuine regret spearing her heart as she dressed quickly and made a hasty exit as his gentle snores filled the tent.
As my people say, a wolf can act but like a wolf.
-------------------------------------------------------
On the smoldering remains of the battlefield, something moves, something that used to be a man. Its limbs twitch a little. A few breaths rasp through its ruined airways.
A clubbed, burned appendage twitches-- a ghastly lobster-claw of flesh where once there had been fingers. It had instinctively reached up to shield itself with this hand when the lightning struck. It had been at the very epicenter of the divine tempest. Moments after that, the storm of thunder had been replaced with a storm of ice.
Something glints on the twisted claw of burned meat. It had been gold at one point, but now it is burned, fused into the flesh.
A liquid leaks from the thing's ruined face. It could be tears, or any number of other effluvium.
The thing's tortured breaths wheeze and rasp for a while yet, then are still.